Saturday, October 01, 2005

Cell Phone. Woes. Part II

9:00 AM: Asurion

You may or may not [remember], but somewhere a long the line a few weeks ago, my cellphone & I were seperated, never to find each other again. At the time, I wasn't too too worried. I have phone insurance. I held out for 3 weeks without my phone, hoping someone @ work would turn it in to the security office. But now I'm pretty sure its gone forever.

So, Saturday, after work, I called up Asurion [website], the company that handles insurance for Verizon Wireless. Thats when the fun started...

9:15 AM The Fun

Well, after hanging up to file a police report, and calling back & waiting on hold again. For a while. I was connected to this guy who was super polite & extremely... Well, polite. He said "sir" soooooo much it was <CENSORED> fuck </CENSORED>ing annoying. I even made a comment to Sharon about the guy; and how I'd never had a complaint about how polite a customer service rep was.

I should've known right then & there that something wasn't right.

After taking down all my info & waiting a while for them to "verify" what I'd told them. Why do they even ask you anything, if they just call Verizon & get all your information from them anyway? They kindly offered to replace my LGVX8000 with the awe -inspriring LGVX3100.

The most awe-inspiring feature of the 3100 model is that it hasn't been manufactured for several years. I mean, holy crap, my phone was less than 6 months old. 1.3 mp camera. EVDO. HUGE frigging screen. And they wanted to replace it with. Dare I say it? Dave's phone.

So I asked him to repeat the model number a few times. After he did, and I told him what I thought about the 3100. He asked me, "So, you want me to set this up for you?"

10:00 AM, Melissa

Yes, thats her real name. Yes, it took almost 15 minutes of my life waiting for the <CENSORED> bitch </CENSORED> to pick up the phone, only to tell me that once a phone had been "offered", all I could do was accept or cancel my claim. When I tried to reason with this woman, she told me, "You don't like it, call Verizon."

10:15 AM Verizon Wireless

On hold. For so long that they offered to call me back. Finaly got a supervisor. Turns out the nice lady that de-activated my phone, in addition to screwing up my bill, changed my esn to that of a much older phone. (Note: when your phone gets stolen, they put a bogus ESN on your account, so that your phone doesn't actually get calls & you don't get charged an early termination fee) So it was causing a problem with the insurance. Because they WERE ONLY GOING OFF OF THE INFORMATION THAT VERIZON WAS PROVIDING THEM. Not the police report they MADE me file. Not what I told them.

11:00 AM Asurion take 2
That <CENSORED> bitch </CENSORED> Melissa strikes again... Doesn't ANYONE else work at this place?!?!?

As soon as this woman picks up the phone, I'm convinced that I've been had. I can't belive the luck. Why her? I am convinced that she answered the call ON PURPOSE. After quite a while of back & forth, run around style bullshit, she finaly offered to replace my LGVX8000 with an LGVX8100.

Now, don't get me wrong, the 8100 is nice. Its kinda-sorta the same as the 8000. But it has Bluetooth. And a MiniSD slot. Its also a LOT frickin smaller. (one of the things I loved about the 8000). The problem now was they don't have any 8100s in stock. Nor do they know when they'll get one. So its take the 3100 or wait an indefinate period for the 8100.

I've already been without a phone since September 12. They're asking me to wait up to 10 weeks???? to recive a replacement. I was shocked & or appalled. I tried to work something out, like picking up a replacement at the nearest Verizon store or something, anything to not have to wait THAT frigging long.

Melissa, being as helpful as she was earlier, told me that it wasn't her problem. Told me that all I was entitled to was a comparable replcaement. Told me that if I didn't want to wait, there was always the 3100.

I told her to <CENSORED> fuck </CENSORED> off.

11:45 AM Verizon Wireless

Waited on hold. Again. For another supervisor. Took a while. Glad its Saturday, all these calls are FREE. Finaly, a person! I relate my life story (or at least the past several hours of it) to her, and she listens, politely, and then tells me that Verizon can't/won't do anything, and that I've gotta call the insurance company.

So I try to work something out with her. I try to get them to at least call Asurion on my behalf. Get something done. Talk to someone. Cummon, I can't wait several weeks to get a phone, thats crazy!!. She stonewalled me. By this time its noon and I'm really VERY upset. So I let her have it. I threaten to go to the BBB. She tells me, "Get a lawyer."

I went off on this woman. The yelling. It was pretty harsh. It'd all been building up for several hours & she got it all.

Then I went on the BBB website & filed complaints. Against Asurion the full of shit insurance co & against that bitch Melissa, and against Verizon Wireless. I felt obligated to document each and every issue I've had with Verizon, all the billing problems (even though I haven't even been a member 6 months) as well as the recent issues. I've even thought about getting a lawyer.

12:45 AM

I couldn't go on. I was furious. I called Asurion & Verizon back to inform them of the complaints, then I went to bed.


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